GETTING OUT OF A FUNK

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Will and I went to a dinner party at Katie’s apartment over the weekend and I had a long conversation with my friend Roxy (my first blog friend back when I was still in college!) that got me thinking about a lot of things. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling more anxious than usual lately. We’re not sure where Will’s career will take him in this next year and we’ve talked a lot about what cities we would and wouldn’t want to move to. (And I’m so happy we’re even having those conversations because, no joke, he’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Getting personal today, okay?) But not knowing whether we’ll be in New York or Dallas or San Francisco this time next year has me feeling like I’ve lost control. It’s harder to make decisions about hiring an employee before Christmas, for example, when I’m not sure how far into the following year I’ll be able to employ that person in New York. Ditto office space and a bevy of other personal and professional goals. And yet I’d hate to spend the next year in New York with one foot out the door, stressing about a move that may or may not even happen. Maybe this is just the nature of being in your twenties.

Since I’m already spilling my heart out (writing is the best for that, isn’t it?), I’ll add that fashion week was a tough time for me this year. It’s this hectic period where you feel like you have to see everyone, do everything, get invited to the right shows, and forgo your regularly scheduled work and sleep to cram in as much as possible. And maybe it’s because I’m not invited to 1,394 shows but it was a terrible time for me to get stuck playing the comparison game. Why wasn’t I invited to that presentation? Why wouldn’t so-and-so include me in that blogger dinner? If you’re already feeling less than your best, a week like that can really highlight everything you’re not doing well enough.

And lately, I’d been letting those feelings snowball until they were keeping me up at night. But then something always happens that puts everything into perspective. On Monday, my friend Kelly texted me about a college acquaintance whose battle with leukemia took a turn for the worse over the weekend. I just lost it thinking about his parents, his sisters, his friends, and my friends who are close to him. And suddenly it’s like, wait, nothing else matters. I am so lucky to be in love with a guy who wants to be a part of my life for the long haul. I’m so lucky we get to choose a city where we can both further our careers because I can do my work from anywhere. I’m so lucky to have good people around me who remind me why the bad ones aren’t worth it. Who cares about which shows I was or wasn’t invited to? Who cares about a rude blog comment? Who cares whether I can hire my first employee this year or five years from now? We’re all so damn hard on ourselves and life is just too short.

So today I’m getting out of a funk, putting an end to the snowballing, and giving myself a clean slate. Surrounding myself with people who are creative, smart, and dynamic and who inspire me every day to be a better version of myself. Focusing on what’s really important and not beating myself up when I fall short of some crazy ideal that I’ve put in place myself. And being extra personal with all of you when the mood strikes, because it’s scary as hell to write these posts and to put them out in the world for people to dissect and extrapolate and misinterpret. But maybe it will help one or two or, hey, a hundred of you. Maybe it will encourage you to count your blessings and to spend less time lamenting your shortcomings. To call your girlfriends and tell them how much you love them. To stop taking your boyfriend or your parents or your siblings for granted. To help you see that you’ve got a family who loves you, friends who mean the world to you, and a life that keeps you on your toes and makes you feel lucky to be a part of it all. To help you realize that this funk is just a blip, that you are, in fact, dynamite, and that you’ve got a lot of great stuff to do before you leave this crazy world. Thanks for bearing with me and this novel today. Onward and upward, shall we?

102 thoughts on “GETTING OUT OF A FUNK

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  1. just came from a family member’s memorial service this weekend. one of the best takeaways during a really difficult and sudden death, was in life, when weighing the pros and cons, never underestimate the positives. we all have a tendency to see the negatives as largely overwhelming and diminish the good we have going on in life. we all have a lot a lot of good in most cases; and lots of family and friends to get us through the bad. cheers to you and anyone else making the effort and choice to see the good!

  2. I love your honesty! Enjoy the moment, it’s all we ever really have.

    P.S. if your seriously thinking about SF, shoot me a note. You know we’d love to have you here!

  3. Thank you so much for being personal and putting yourself out there. Being a new blogger myself I’ve already started the comparison game and gotten really overwhelmed by the time commitment and the questioning of myself, “why don’t I have as many followers as so and so”? “how do I get those followers?” etc. Reading your story has made me realize that I’m not alone in that thinking and that even seasoned bloggers like yourself have those thoughts. All we can do is keep trucking along, be kind to each other and try to keep things in perspective. Your story has helped me to do just that, so thank you! 🙂

  4. perspective is so healthy and cheers you right up doesn’t it? Life is all about uncertainty and trying to enjoy the moment with so many things hanging over your head. I feel as you get older this happens more and more. New York is an amazing city (I miss it terribly) but each city has its own flavor and its treasures. (I vote you come to Dallas if you have to move!). You would enjoy it and would welcome you with open arms. I think a part of being happy and of continuing to grow is to always be open to possibilities and to stay flexible so you can truly take advantages of any opportunities. But I know you can do this because you have been doing it beautifully. I’m not worried and know you will make the right decisions. xx

  5. I feel like there’s something in the water lately. This is not the first blog post I’ve read about a funk (and I find myself nodding my head along to a lot of them myself). We all need a little perspective sometimes, and it sounds like you’re well on your way to finding the light. I, myself, have been feeling the same way the past little while. I have nothing but things to be grateful for, yet I constantly find myself caught up in the comparison game or the “what if” snowball of thoughts. I tooootally get it, and so appreciate your honesty. Thinking of you!

  6. Thank you so much for sharing. This is my first entry I have read on your blog and it was so refreshing to hear a perspective from someone so close to my age. I think we live in a society that everyone wants to make their lives look so beautiful and perfect and flawless. To me your life is in its own way is beautiful. It sounds like you get to experience so many things. Yes I do believe experiencing new things good and bad events help shape us and our journey through life. Thanks again for sharing a personal part of your life, the twenty something slumps will make us better people as a whole! It is how we get through them. Keep smiling its such a beautiful life/ride. 🙂

  7. Great post!! Time to switch the perspective. Owning a successful (and beautifully curated) boutique at 25? Having an interesting, insightful blog that seems to draw a variety of followers that from the comments above clearly love you? You’re doing OK, I’d say. 🙂 Better than OK. Keep it up and be proud of yourself! 25 IS a tough age – just have faith that you’re right where you’re meant to be. And wherever you end up next year? It’s a step to even bigger and better things.

  8. Fashion week smashion week, you’ve got it figured out. I’m sincerely sorry the thing that propelled you to the realization is so sad! There’s something about 25—everyone I know says this: It’s a linchpin year. Inevitably, the gut checks become more frequent, and they are hard and personal (and sometimes tragic), and every time it happens, our view of the world gets a little sharper and more focused, I guess.

    Reading this makes me wish I knew more about what you are up to lately on a personal level, but from where I stand, I love that you are living that dream you used to talk about over cocktails, and it’s so nice to hear how happy you are with Will. No matter where you move or what happens, we all know that you will handle it with grace, perspective and an excitement for new beginnings. The gut checks have made you that way. 😉 xo

  9. it is exactly this perspective that will get you very far in life both personally (which is more important) and professionally! I listened to a fabulous NY speaker this week and she grew up in a horrible situation in her childhood. She said one day she realized, “I can be resentful of all I don’t have or I can be grateful for the little I do have. ” She chose grateful and got herself out of a terrible life.

  10. This post definitely hit home for me!

    Thank you for reminding me how important it is to count my blessings and live each day with a grateful heart.

    I’m sure it took incredible courage for you to publish such a personal post, so I definitely applaud you for that!

    All the best to you, MacKenzie!

  11. There must have been something in the air because I was going through the same thing last week! I kept getting down on myself for not being the absolute best at x, y, and z and was also feeling anxious not knowing what the future holds, or where it will take me and my boyfriend as well! Luckily, I was able to get out of my funk too but not before a full day of tears and a roller coaster of emotions that brought me back to my senses. I know now that everything that is supposed to happen will… just the way it should and there’s nothing I can do about it! Keep your head up and always strive to be the best version of yourself, not of someone else!

  12. This post really hit home for me! Thank you for the reminder that I’m not the only one who feels like my life is out of my control at times, and that sometimes you just need something to put it into perspective. Your blog is wonderful, and I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t invite you places! I can’t wait to continue following your adventure, wherever you may end up 🙂

  13. I was thinking of you and your friends when I heard the terrible news about Noah. I was never close with him (only knew him through Mgmt 101 – so long ago), but knew his dad (the athletic director) quite well through basketball – it’s so terribly sad, and his family and friends are in my prayers. May he rest peacefully.

    Life really is too short to get all caught up in little stressors. I read quite a few fashion blogs (I’m so unfashionable; it makes no sense), and during NYFW there seems to be an underlying feeling of stress/fear of missing out coming through in most posts I read. I really think you’re not the only one!

    Sending good vibes your way as you reconcile with a peer who passed too soon.

    “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

    Ray Bucknell,
    Joyce

  14. I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough spilling your thoughts and feelings here. That’s something I’ve tried to get more at ease with in my videos; because, really, my viewers/subscribers are the main reason for a lot of situations I find myself in. I suffer from clinical anxiety, which can make things really tough sometimes. My therapist’s professor used to start every session off saying, in a gruff, Queens accented, 50-something man voice, “Well, what’re ya disturbin yerself about today?” I think that is the best approach to almost any worry. I hope everything smoothes out a bit for you in the coming couple of months. Whatever happens, it’s going to be great!
    http://www.youtube.com/sparklesandsuch26

  15. THANK YOU for this post! It’s so nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. All of the uncertainty and anxiety that we experience at this time in our lives can be so overwhelming. Sometimes we just need to take a breath and focus on all that we have, instead of what we don’t have. Beautifully written post.

  16. Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful post, Mackenzie! I really appreciate how honest you are about everything you’re going through right now. I can definitely relate to being in a funk and feeling completely out of it. Stay strong, sweet girl!

  17. I adore you and everything you put out into this web-world. Your blog is a bright spot in my day, and unlike other blogs where I feel caught in the comparison game with those girls, I feel like you are a beautiful, smart, and considerate friend who I want to see succeed above all else, because it means I can succeed too. Enjoy the ride! Don’t let those speed bumps and pot holes slow you down! How else would we know just how darn lucky we are?

  18. I know living in New York, it must be very easy to get caught up in all of the Fashion Week frenzy. But I, for one, read your blog because you’re not like all of those cookie cutter fashion bloggers who get invited to all the shows and all post the same outfits with the same content. Your blog is such a great mix of decor, interesting varied topics and not just fashion, but true style. Your eye and your voice are refreshingly unique amongst all the sea of boring sameness of most of the other blogs. Becoming the next Camille Styles is more interesting even if that means not getting the same invitations as others.

    As far as debating whether to hire someone now, not knowing where you will be a year from now, I say make your decisions based on today. If you need an employee, go ahead and hire someone. So much could happen in the next year and no job is forever. Maybe by then, you might decide to keep someone in NYC for design darling, or they could be ready to move on to something else, even creating their own business using what they have learned from you. If neither of those are true and you need to let them go, well, that will be a great learning experience for you and having difficult conversations in business is a great skill to have. The important thing is to do what you need to do today and don’t dress rehearse something bad that may or may not ever happen.

    I’m so looking forward to keep reading here to see where all of these exciting opportunities lead you!

  19. Thank you for sharing such a personal post. Your mid-twenties are such a tough time made even tougher by social media making it seem like your peers have all their ish together. I’m in a similar funk and just feeling/being/doing blah – and although it’s no battle with leukemia or fashion week, everyone’s bumps and bruises and battles are important to them in their own right. A little perspective never hurt anyone. But it’s with the sincerest thanks that I write this – blogs and social media in general, especially Instagram seem to have a way of encouraging you to compare yourself to others. It’s a good reminder that what content people put out there for the world is often the highlights and not always sharing their shadows.

    Anyway that was longer than intended, but thanks for sharing this and reminding me to have a little perspective too. Who knows if you’ll read this, but it was brave of you to share and was welcomed with open arms. You’ll figure it all out – we all will 🙂

  20. Thank you for your honest and refreshing post today, Mackenzie. I agree with the many comments below on how it’s important to keep your life in perspective. As much as we all think we have the hardest and craziest life (and yes they definitely can get hectic) it’s definitely good to put everything in perspective. You will get out of this funk! And yes onward and upward!

  21. This is wonderful, Mackenzie. I’ve been dealing with my own sort of “funk” lately & this brought me a lot of comfort! Thank you for sharing so honestly on your blog.

  22. Thank you! I really needed this. It made me cry…you are so right! We should all count our blessings and be greatful for the life we have.
    Cheers!

  23. I’m in a bit of transition myself right now. The feeling of not having control is hard. Thank you for the candid, inspirational post. You reminded me the importantance of keeping it in perspective in this crazy world we live in. Forward ever, backward never.

  24. I absolutely love this. I have been reading your blog (and Carly’s) for about a year now and have never commented but this post is just what I needed right now, I am a high school senior and the college process is getting into full gear. While I wish I knew what you are going through with being envious of others for their Fashion Week Invites I know the feeling, being judged on grades and practically every other aspect of life is very difficult and not knowing where the next year might take me or where I will be is quite scary. Visiting your blog and reading your posts every day is one of my few moments of “me time” and I am so grateful for everything you do. Don’t worry about the little things! I hope to one day have problems nearly as wonderful as yours!

  25. Hi Mackenzie,

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while but never commented or anything before. I wanted to say that I really appreciate you writing a post like this because its nice to see bloggers be very personal sometimes. I love living vicariously through bloggers seemingly perfect lives as much as the next person, but we all know life isn’t perfect and posts like these make you relatable to your readers. I’m going through a lot of changes in my life with graduating college and starting my first job in a brand new city, so thank you for writing this post- it was exactly what I needed to read 🙂

  26. These are the secrets of living a successful life! You have nailed it in your twenties! Keep these close throughout your life along with a faith of a higher power and you will be blessed indeed! As your life evolves so do the challenges but keeping this balance is key to working through the daily grind so you can tackle the heavy stuff when it arises! Keep breathing, don’t sweat the small stuff and don’t write the story before it has happened!! PS – Best post you have written to date!! 😉

  27. Thank you! I needed this, been in a funk for weeks now and you’re so right– friends and family and love are what matter most. Going to come back to this tomorrow and the next day until I can remember to let go without having to remind myself.

    xx

  28. Recently my boyfriend and I went though the exact same thing. His career, my life in LA, not knowing where we would live. It so stressful!! Thankfully last week we heard news that he was offered a job in LA. So I don’t have to move and we can finally start our life together. Hang in there girl! I was ready to up and move to SF too but I’m thankful in the end we ended up where we are supposed to be. Try not to stress about it, I know I did and it drive me nuts. Things will fall into place sooner than you think.

    xoxo

  29. Beautifully written Mackenzie with a beautiful message. Wishing you lots of love and less worries about the move. Also, the blog redesign looks absolutely beautiful. Bravo.

  30. You are so right … It is nice to be “brought back down” ever once in awhile. Moving is hard. Change is hard. I don’t think it’s a twenties thing, it’s a life thing. My husband was transferred last fall. I had to leave my business behind. While it was so hard then, now I realize it’s been an incredible blessing for our relationship. You’ve got this!!!

  31. Thank you for this post! It was exactly what I needed to read today. I agree, that sometimes our own life can feel so out of our control. That’s when I say the serenity prayer over and over, and take a deep breath.

  32. “We’re all so damn hard on ourselves and life is just too short.” Wow thanks for sharing that. That was such an awesome quote to really put things in perspective. I love personal blog posts because it reminds me that I’m not reading the blogs of people who have this perfect live that I can’t relate to more than we both like the same clothes. It reminds me that the bloggers I read about are real people who struggle with similar things that I do and it makes me feel connected to you guys. Thanks for sharing and keep staying so amazing! Everything works out in the end.

    Natalie
    pugsandpink.weebly.com

  33. Mackenzie, this post was amazing! Being in your 20’s is such a hard time because with great possibility comes oh so much uncertainty. It also sucks that it’s often times the worst news that jerks us back into realizing what’s really important in life – getting that news was a shock for me too and I know the whole Bucknell community is hurting.

    Keep up the positive vibes, this post has already helped so many people!

  34. great post. Have been having the same feeling for a while. Thank you for adressing something that people don’t usually share.

    I wish you the best on all of your future enderings.

  35. This is easily one of my favorite posts to ever be on here! I loved how honest and open you were! Often times bloggers can distance themselves from their readers by only telling us the good, so I absolutely loved this!

    Hope you have a great rest of the day!

  36. Mackenzie, this was brilliant, beautifully written, and exactly what I needed to hear too. I skimmed a few of the comments that have already been posted and wanted to add my voice to say thank you for posting this. I just got off the phone with my mom and to cool off/distract myself for a bit I pulled up my favorite blog only to find the exact bit of inspiration I needed. I’m a fifth year senior in college (undergrad) studying chemical engineering and it’s been a brutal college experience. The degree program is near impossible to do in 4 years, but it’s been really hard starting this year knowing that almost all of my friends from high school and any non-engineers already graduated. I’m feeling crushed under the weight of PhD program applications, GRE prep, 6 classes including a five-hour lab course with 40 page lab reports (I’m an engineer not an English major, this might be my worst nightmare), family expectations, and having people say that college days are supposed to be the best days of your life. I don’t know what I want to do with my life really, and every time I realize that, it’s just terrifying. Thank you for the solidarity. Thank you for the perspective and re-framing. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. I’m tearing up just thinking about all this, but it’s a lot easier knowing I’m not alone. Also, it’s a good reminder to be more patient with my mom, because she’s only trying to help, even if I let myself get stressed out.

    Cheers. Celebrate the good times and thank you again for all that you share. You’re an amazing person.

  37. This is easily one of the best posts you’ve written. I think every girl out there has struggled with feelings of inadequacy at one point or another. Personally, it’s a comfort to hear that I’m not alone (even if I know that I’m not)

    I wish you and Will the best for the future and look forward to how a new city (possibly) influences Design Darling.

  38. Mackenzie, this post really speaks to me because I’m going through a tough time too and I also feel like I will be dealing with the same problems in the future. You are such an inspiration to me and I remember meeting you in Westport this summer and you were so cheerful and friendly, and I just wanted to let you know that other people are feeling the same and that you should take your life day by day. Also, a little thing I like to remember when I’m stressed out is, diamonds are made under pressure! I hope you have a wonderful and less stressful rest of the year!

  39. Thank you so much for sharing this! I feel like I have been in a constant funk for some time, and it is nice to read that others go through them as well. It is also such a great reminder that there are people out there that care and are there to help you get through these crazy funks! Good luck! I’m sure whatever happens is meant to be, and you will excel in whichever city you end up!

  40. I love how honest and real you are! I’m glad you are comfortable enough to put your feelings on such a public space — your readers really appreciate that. It’s amazing to see how such a well-known blogger has uncertain feelings (like the fashion week invites). It’s crazy how competitive blogging is, but I feel like if you just take a step back, you will be okay! You have so many readers who love your blog and you for the content you post!

    Pink Champagne Problems

  41. Amazing, honest, perfect, TRUTH-FILLED post. I so appreciate your transparency, and I think you do a fantastic job on a daily basis. You should be beyonnndddd proud of what you have already accomplished! You are such an inspiration to me and to so many others!! Thank you so much for sharing!

  42. Honestly, this is exactly what I needed to read today. I just graduated from college in May and have had a hard time finding work in my field. It’s really tough when you get caught up in the comparison game. The past few weeks I keep catching myself comparing myself to friends, “why did so and so get a job right away and I can’t?” “What does she have that I don’t” etc. The stress of impending student loan payments doesn’t help either.

    But like you said, in the grand scheme of things, this is a minor bump in the road. Reading this made me realize how lucky I am to have friends and family who support my choices and love me for who I am.

    Thanks for being open and honest with your readers!

  43. If it cheers you up even more, just know that you’re my favorite blogger, and if the fashion world only knew how much stuff you’ve inspired me to buy online, you’d be invited to EVERYTHING. Your amazing work product is so appreciated.

  44. I’m so glad you made this post because I relate to it so much. Sometimes it feels like that “mid-20s funk” comes more often than not. I just trust in my mantra that the more goodness, laughter, and happiness I put into the world, the more good that will come back around and everything will work out.

  45. I really loved this post! I think it’s one of the best that I’ve read on your blog (and I’ve been reading for years!). I can totally relate to your fear of not knowing where you’ll be running a business from. But from my experience, as a business owner you’ll just make whatever situation you’re in work for the best. I moved from Australia to San Francisco within two weeks to run my company and I haven’t looked back 🙂 I’m sure whatever decision you make, you will pull it off with panache. Mx

  46. This is a great post, Mackenzie! I like that you opened up on your blog, it makes you that much more relatable – and to be frank, that is something I feel is truly lacking from 99.9% of blogs now. It’s refreshing and endearing, keep it up! Your blog has become one of the three I regularly check, and this just sealed the deal for sure.

    Congratulations on the big “talk,” if you will, with your boyfriend! That is such an exciting milestone in a relationship and I am really happy for you both, and your bright future together! Wishing you a lot of luck and many blessings. <3

  47. These are the posts that are the most difficult to publish, so kudos! What you said about Fashion Week is spot on, and I totally get where you’re coming from. Honestly, living in New York City is wonderful at times, but it can also be really hard. Uncertainty is super stressful too. I think we just have acknowledge that and allow ourselves to be in a funk every once in a while. The key is to maintain perspective, and make sure we get out of the funk before we’re stuck. Keep on keeping on!

    xo
    Sam

  48. Mackenzie,

    Thank you so much for being incredibly honest and transparent on the blog today. Maybe its something we go through in our mid 20s (or maybe it will stick with us) but I find myself getting caught up in the comparison game all too often because for the first time, we are all at different stages in our life. I think about the what ifs and have been in your situation before where I felt like I had one foot out of the door. It takes courage to share so much about your personal life for all to read and criticize and I admire you for it!

    Here’s a post I wrote about a month ago when I was in a bit of a funk too! Hope it helps like you have helped me!
    http://ellepaigeandhenry.blogspot.com/2014/08/kids-playing-adult.html

    Here’s to onward and upward!

    xoxo,

    Danielle
    http://ellepaigeandhenry.blogspot.com/

  49. Mackenzie,

    Thanks for posting this! Lately, I have been feeling the exact same way – playing the comparison game, being in between cities and just feeling sorry for myself. It’s so nice to be able to connect through a blog post and just know that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling or going through. I always just blame that it’s because i’m in my 20’s too and that it’s such a confusing and anxious time, but from here on out, I’m going to have a more positive outlook on this life! It’s so easy to get stuck in a funk, but then you realize you’re not alone and that connection feels awesome.

  50. I get ya. I’ve just moved to Paris for 3 months without my husband and yesterday I had a total FUNK day. I stayed in side, didn’t Skype with my family and laid in my pyjamas all day feeling sad and lonely. Then my mum was in hospital with my uncle with a brain tumour and I realised how great a life I was living. Hope you feel better!!! Pfffft fashion week, who even notices that stuff 😉

    http://www.ohheyblog.com

  51. Wowza! You are INCREDIBLE. Actually I blogged about my struggles today too. It is nice to know I’m in wonderful company. You are so fabulous, down to Earth and inspiring. Thank you for the love you leak on us readers. Xo.

  52. I love reading posts like these, that give a glimpse into real life! But, I must say that my favorite word in the whole post was DALLAS! You know you have at least one friend here if that’s where you & Will end up! 🙂 good luck with everything Mackenzie!

  53. Funks happen! Glad to hear that were able to sort it out quickly and realize all of the many blessings in your life! It is not an easy task and one that is easy to lose sight of. We all go through the moments. And thank you so sharing such personal and thoughtful feelings. It’s great to hear you have found someone you love and who loves you back enough to start planning a future! It is totally the nature of being in your twenties- being there myself and having similar conversations with my now fiance. Think of it as the most exciting adventure! You’ll never get this kind of time and freedom again. To move freely and experience new places. Before you know it you’ll be trying to live in places with the best schools and buy a house that meets your family’s needs not just you and your boyfriend/fiance/husband. The best is yet to come… enjoy each moment in it’s entirety. For right now is the best in it’s own right and you will never get this time back. One day you will look back and wish you had this time again, these decisions to make, this life! You’re bound to do great things 🙂

  54. Thanks for posting this and for being so honest.

    Going through (and getting out of) rough patches is such a big part of being in our twenties. It’s how we learn lessons, figure out who we are & what we’re doing, and get motivated to be better.

    I’m in the middle of a longer-than-expected-or-wanted funk. I’ll be taking your advice to stop being hard on myself and start focusing on all of the good.

  55. It’s so funny, this morning I sat down to write almost an identical post! I feel like the transition from summer to fall (what I still consider the start of a new year, even though I’m no longer in school) has a tendency to highlight what we think of as our short comings. But taking the time to step away, realize that we are, in fact, in charge of our own happiness (as cheesy as it may sound) is so important. I take so many wonderful things in my life for granted and it’s easy to get bogged down (especially here in NYC, where I feel everyone has there stuff together). But a little perspective always helps. What a great post!

  56. Great post! I’m so sorry to hear about your friend from college. I’m in my early 30’s, in a decent job, and married with an almost one year old. I thought having a family would make me feel settled and I’ve never been more confused where to live, should I trade a flexible job for one that pays more, etc. I honestly think feelings of one foot in and figuring things out long term is just what comes with being ambitious, at any age. A clean slate always makes things better. And then all of a sudden your plan will become crystal clear!

  57. It’s interesting to see how no matter where one is on the spectrum of blogging, too, there are the same struggles. By my standards, you’re one of the “bigger” blogs I enjoy reading daily… but that doesn’t mean you don’t go through the same mind games and self-inflicted comparison we all do at times. It’s so easy to fall into it when our blogs are made to showcase the beautiful side of life- and when they’re our businesses, out in the open for everyone to scrutinize. I love the honesty and genuine nature of your blog and appreciate how down to earth it always is.

    Shake it off, girl!

    Heather | Port City Prescription

  58. Mackenzie, thank you for posting this! It’s just what I needed to hear right now. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way too. We all have our ups and downs, but what’s important is getting back on our feet and moving ahead! Hope you have a fabulous week! xx

  59. mackenzie,
    just wanted to share a little bit of ‘old lady” (28 year old) wisdom: no one, and i mean no one, has it totally, 100% together. we’re all just waking up each day and doing our best. i’m a longtime reader who thinks that you’re killing it, day after day, and are an inspiration for all of your readers, including old fogies like me! good for you for taking a step back and putting things in perspective, but try not to beat yourself up about feeling down every now and again. it’s okay to have the funks so long as you can shake yourself out of them. and know that wherever life takes you, it’ll all be okay. promise.

  60. Mackenzie,

    I always love reading your posts, but this one was truly exceptional. It must be so difficult to be vulnerable when you have such a large audience, but hats off to you to doing so with class. This post was so genuine and easy to relate to. I appreciate and respect your openness so much! Keep doing what you’re doing, you have so much to look forward to!

    summerandatlantic.blogspot.com

  61. This was incredible. Sorority snaps for you! This was brave and I love that you shared your fears. You’re not alone, everyone feels like they’re losing control sometimes. Good luck with everything, you’re fabulous 🙂

  62. Thanks so much for posting this today and can totally relate. Thanks for staying so positive. I have a looming move from NYC to California and feeling extra antsy about it because the timeline isn’t up to me, it’s up to my BF who needs to find a job. Not knowing definitely sucks, and I get what you mean by saying you don’t want to feel like you always have one foot out the door.

    Keep up the great work Mackenzie, thanks for sharing this 🙂

  63. Ahhhh girl this resonated with me big time!
    I felt the same exact way during fashion week (and at the end of the day, really– who cares) but I often get caught up in the same comparison game and whatnot. If it’s any consolation, I think you are doing amazing things…and should be so proud of where you are. Andddd, so glad you have met someone so wonderful!

    xx

  64. I’ve been reading your blog for a LONG time, and have never felt compelled to comment, but I wanted to do so today to express how much I loved this post. I think you do such a great job of striking a perfect balance on how much to share of your life, versus fashion, and interior design, etc. The posts about your family (especially your cooking video) are also the most precious! So anyway, I just wanted to say amazing job, keep up the good work, totally rooting for you, onward and upward!

  65. Thank you for reminding me why your blog is one of my favorite daily reads! I’m definitely going to hug my friends a little tighter and stay on the phone with my parents a little longer than usual after reading this.

    Hang in there… Something tells me that this is only the beginning for you and Design Darling and bigger and better things are going to come your way!

    xo

  66. This post rocks. All of it. Girl, it seems you have always got it ALL together, and there are so many out there, myself included, who think, “dang sister’s got her own business in a great city, great social calendar, blah blah blah” so don’t sell yourself short!

  67. I absolutely hate funks…and how they can have a domino effect on everything in your life. Sometimes the best method of coping with them is to just to embrace the Funk and then move on which it sounds like you have done. Everything is going to workout how it us suppose to in the end! This was a great post. Thank you for sharing.

  68. Thanks for posting this! We’ve all been there, and you’re spot on about ‘onward and upward’. Best of luck to you and Will for the next few months ahead!

  69. This is my favorite post you’ve ever done, so honest! As a college student it’s stressful thinking about the future and I really appreciated reading this post.

  70. This post is great Mackenzie! I am a long-time reader of your blog, and to be honest your personal posts are my favorite, because they are so refreshing and relate-able. I too am unsure of where I will be living a year from now, but I know that I NEED to make the most of my time while I’m still here in Texas. To see that you are going through the same thing as well helps me to relax and not take all this for granted. Thank you!

  71. Thanks for this. I’ve been reading your blog for years and it has grown and become even better with time without losing its authenticity. Keep on keepin’ on.

  72. Mackenzie, I absolutely ADORE this post. I am so glad you are able to put some of your more personal feelings out here for the public to read, because honestly there are so many days I feel the same way. I get disheartened and stressed and all around confused about where my life is headed. I recently made the move to DC and in turn moved further away from my boyfriend. It’s been a rough adjustment and I’ve questioned my decision to move more than a few times. I’ve questioned my career path. I’ve questioned where my life in general was headed. But when things get too crazy in my mind I just have to stop and remind myself of all the blessings I have in my life. Such as, even though we are far apart, my boyfriend and I are 100% committed to our relationship and being with each other for the long haul. Reminding myself of those special blessings really helps to bring me back down to earth.

    You have some really exciting times ahead of you and you’ll be going great places! I can feel it. (:

    – Kelsey
    http://kelseydefined.wordpress.com/

  73. Needed this, you are the best! Thinking of you while you are going through this somewhat transitional phase. Everything that was meant to be will happen though…always keep that in the back of your mind!

    xoxo
    Liz

  74. this was SO nice to read this morning & just know you’re not alone in these feelings! comparison is the thief of joy and I’m finally embracing that. your life will work out in a way that’s best for you, and as you said you can work from anywhere & be successful anywhere 🙂

    I was in NYC this past week & the madness of nyfw was insane!

  75. Great post, Mackenzie! It’s always posts like this that seem to pop up when I need them most. I have had similar feelings like yours lately and you’re so right, it’s so hard to not play the comparison game whether it be fashion week, a collab someone got that you didn’t, or a number of other things. But, like you said at the end of the day- none of that ACTUALLY matters. Hoping things get a little easier for you soon! xo

  76. Thank you for this. We all have bad days, weeks, or even months. Just know that you have a lot of people that support your goals and dreams. Reading your blog is the first thing I do every morning when I get into work and something I always look forward too. Keep doing what you’re doing!

  77. I’m glad you are feeling better. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed by the unknown, but, like you mentioned, you realized everything will be just fine. A teacher I had used to say, “Ask yourself if you’ll be worrying about this 6 months from now” and it made me realize I probably won’t be. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan a little bit, but if we simply focus on our goals or how we feel or good opportunities that occur, most things will work out well and we’ll realize they weren’t worth our excessive worrying or stress.

    In regards to comparing ourselves, here’s a quick and slight change of perspective: Garance Dore wrote about how she used to heavily encourage (and ultimately pressure) her former best friend to live big, big dreams and how it drove that friend away. She had very good intentions but what happened is that Garance was projecting her own goals and dreams onto her friend and not considering what the friend wanted. She was trying to be encouraging because her best friend was very talented. However, her best friend didn’t want to move to Paris or do this or that and be an important person or whatever. What it made me realize is that, like Garance’s best friend, it is perfectly okay to live our lives as we wish; we don’t have to be Harvard graduates or the best businesswoman or the top dresser in the world. Sure, we should strive to be our best, but it’s hard to be THE best and to keep up with others.

    You own your own business (which I love!) and run your own blog, you have your own style, and you settled yourself in New York and have survived. Even if you decided you wanted to be a teacher later down the road or to do something else, that’d be okay. We’re allowed to change our minds and have any size or simple dreams we want.

  78. This is why you’re my favorite blogger. You’re able to pinpoint exactly how I feel oh-so-eloquently. Thank you so much for constantly being a home for me on the internet; if I had to pick only one blog to read, ever, it would be yours!

  79. Perfectly said!!! I think we definitely all go through those funks (I had a one last year and just had to quit Instagram for a bit) but it’s so refreshing to see people talking about it! So glad you’re on the other side of the funk & feeling better. Because you lady are a total dynamite!! 🙂 xo

  80. This is such a sweet and inspirational post! Onwards and upwards amen! I’m glad you could gain a little perspective. Sometimes, often actually, it’s the hard things that make us realize how lucky we really are. I totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Whenever I’m in a transition state (traveling, not knowing what my future plans are, wanting to just be settled) I always get worked up and totally lose myself in a funk. You have such a beautiful outlook on life! Here’s to hoping you find some focus soon!

    The What’s In Between

  81. Mackenzie! Thank you so much for writing such an honest post. I can definitely relate to so many of the things you mentioned, especially feeling an unrest slowing building in regards to your life and, of course, the comparison game so many of us play. I’m in my twenties too, and I’m constantly wondering if I’m making the right decisions in regards to my career (i.e.: if I move here, then I can do this! But what if I would rather stay where I’m from and see where my current options take me?). It’s exhausting, but I think it’s better to look at these times as a privilege. I’m lucky to even have to consider options because I could only be presented with one to choose from. And, that stupid comparison game. I play it too. And I ask the same questions as you. Keep going, lady! You are one talented person. And keep the open and honest posts coming. I know I can definitely relate, and I’m sure a host of other young girls can too. xo

  82. Thank you SO MUCH for this. I’ve been having a very similar couple of months — trying to decide whether or not to make big life decisions in the midst of relationship “what if’s”. What is right for me as an individual might not necessarily be great for our future as a couple. Like, you, it’s all based on this relationship being such a great one for the both of us 🙂 I needed to hear this today, as it’s reinforced my decision to just wait it out. Enjoy the moments that we have now — these decisions can wait! So what if I’m not reaching this goal this year like I thought.

    You’re amazing lady 🙂

  83. I understand how you feel completely. Whenever something happens in the blogging world I’m not a part of or someone doesn’t respond to my emails, or I just have a really, pardon my french, shitty day, it is so easy to compare myself and worry if maybe I didn’t make the right impression; however, it is people like my family, Seth, and his great family that always make me so appreciative and stop me from comparing myself! Love you Mackenzie and keep looking up 🙂

  84. I love the way you put this. It’s so important to keep those things in mind. I was in a constant state of anxiety last school year as it was my first job out of college and I my state of perfection for myself and my principal had hers and my students had theirs … and I was just constantly comparing myself to other teachers, to my friends who were teachers at other schools, to people I went to school with and their post-grad lives. And then MY health took a turn for the worse and I had to leave that job. But now I’m enjoying my life so much more because I’m doing what I love (writing) all the time and the things I CAN do mean so much more to me now that I can’t do everything. The comparison game can ruin you, and it’s so much more important to enjoy what you do have than to compare what you don’t have.