LOSING LUGGAGE AND GAINING PERSPECTIVE

This past weekend I flew home to Connecticut to meet up with four of my best friends and watch them try on bridesmaids’ dresses for our wedding. I had seen a dress I loved online and was surprised to find that a bridal shop in my hometown was a flagship location for that designer. It’s like it was meant to be! The dress is everything I’d hoped it would be and looks truly fantastic on everyone. You may have caught the sneak peek on Instagram, but the great news is that our wedding photographer Cameron flew in to shoot the experience for a post on Style Me Pretty! I can’t wait to share it with you this spring and of course I’m even more excited to see my favorite girls in their dresses on our wedding day come September.

design-darling-engagement-pictures-1024x684

While it was a fun-filled morning and a nice excuse to see my family before Christmas rolls around, I’d be lying if I said the whole weekend went off without a hitch. On Friday night when I landed at the airport, I called a friend from the back of a taxi and forty-five minutes later walked into Grand Central to catch a train to Darien… without my suitcase, which I’d left in the trunk of the cab. Seriously, who does that?!

I ran outside to the taxi stand at the train station, hoping the driver had realized and stopped there, but no such luck. So I called 311, filed a claim, and spent half of the weekend calling various police precincts around the city where cab drivers can drop off lost property. My luggage hasn’t turned up yet and I’ve been beating myself up pretty hard since the suitcase was a gift Will gave me on our second Christmas together.

The embarrassing thing is that I’ve made a LOT of easily avoidable mistakes like this recently. A couple months ago, Will’s mom drove us all the way to the airport before I realized I’d left my wallet (and photo ID) in our foyer. A few weeks ago, Will and I returned home from Sea Island to find that I’d left our garage door wide open the entire weekend. And just last weekend, I left my wallet on a Virgin America flight and was on the verge of tears until someone miraculously found it on the plane and delivered it to the baggage claim.

I swear I had gone years without forgetting anything so obvious and yet lately it’s more a question of what I’ve forgotten than whether I’ve forgotten anything. After calling the NYPD for maybe the tenth time on Saturday (by the way, they have been so kind and eager to help) and hearing yet again that my suitcase had not turned up, I finally broke down, so mad at myself and my recent onslaught of forgetfulness that it overshadowed virtually all the fun we’d had earlier in the day.

carry-on-packing-tips-design-darling-1024x1536

{Until we meet again…}

I don’t usually share embarrassing stories like this one on my blog, but lately I’ve gotten a few comments from readers saying that my blog content doesn’t feel very personal lately and I want you to know that I hear where you’re coming from, 150%. Despite knowing I have virtually endless reasons to be happy, I’ve just been in a total funk. I’ve written about my struggle with homesickness since we moved to Dallas, but there’s also so much I haven’t wanted to delve into: difficulty finding an employee who’s a good fit for my online boutique, Will going through another job search, fear over how the election results might affect my gay sister, feeling uncertain about the future and and uninspired about how I’m running my business. In short, I’ve basically been feeling like a complete failure, and often the last thing I want to do is sit down and spill my heart out on the internet.

I know I’m unbelievably lucky to have a family and a fiancé who support me unconditionally, and I hate not showing up as my best self both for all of them and for all of you. I know I’m not alone when I say this year has brought a lot of ups and downs and thankfully Will and I have a few big changes on the horizon (though of course none of them are happening quite quickly enough for my liking!). I want you to know that I haven’t given up on my little corner of the internet and that I’m beyond excited for a fresh start in 2017. This blog is such a reflection of my life and I know you guys pick up on it when I’m feeling overwhelmed or uninspired. It’s been a while since I felt like I was totally killing it and I’m really freaking ready to get back there soon.

I don’t know how to wrap up a post about forgetfulness, homesickness, and eagerness for change with a pretty bow or a tidy resolution. I guess I just hope you’ll read it as a sincere effort to keep things real around here and do a little sharing even when life isn’t all butterflies and rainbows.

I had an enlightening conversation with my family this weekend that my sudden forgetfulness might just be a giant sign from the universe that I need to slooooow down, quit beating myself up all the time, and pay attention to the present instead of trying to race ahead to the next chapter (or the next leg of my travels, as the case has often been). So many of us get caught up in the details this time of year and forget to cut ourselves some slack every now and then. So let this post be a little reminder that a fresh start is right around the corner, whether you spend the next month going crazy over every gift, meal, and mistake — or you actually slow down, savor the present, and show yourself and the people you love a little extra kindness.

design-darling-st-barths

I look forward to stepping things up around here again and as always I’m open to any constructive feedback you’re willing to share. I’m so grateful to those of you sticking around and promise I will do my very best to make it worth your while.

P.S. If you enjoy more personal posts like this one, here are a few to check out: one thing you need to stop hating yourself for, how I started my online store, how Will and I met, one of those days, how I made friends in a new city, seven lessons learned from moving across the country, moving from New York to Dallasgetting out of a funk, and saying goodbye to my childhood home.

113 thoughts on “LOSING LUGGAGE AND GAINING PERSPECTIVE

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Lemon Stripes posted a link to this post. (She is so sweet). You must be a sweet person too for LS to recommend your post. I like following her because she shared some personal struggles that helped me tremendously. I travel and have the dreaded fear of losing my suitcase. I am so sad to hear that you had to experience this event and the other “forgetful” events. I pray you will take a moment, week, month or season to “pause” and “breathe”. Each day is a Gift. Be Well!

  2. Hang in there, Mackenzie! I got married in September and this post resonates. In the months before our wedding I was so maxed out with work, blogging, and wedding planning that I shipped a gift to the wrong state and nearly ruined my computer with an overturned bottle of prosecco (seriously). Those mistakes were out of character and I was inclined to be super hard on myself, but my family and friends, especially my now husband, reminded me not to beat myself up. I pass on my mom’s sage advice, offered repeatedly over many years: be gentle with yourself.

    xx
    Jean

  3. Dear Mackenzie,
    It seems that you are really upset because of these – as you call it – “easily avoidable mistakes” and I am sorry to read that.
    In my experience, if you are not in general the kind of person who tends to be forgetful, you either have too much on your plate, momentarily, or something has somehow troubled your inner peace – maybe it’s even both. While the first can be solved by slowing down, the second is trickier as it involves reconsidering decisions and plans. I am however sure that your family and finance can support you here … And in any case, you should feel relaxed about these lapses – it’s certainly annoying but it’s also sooo human 
    Cheers,
    IMC

  4. I am a long time reader and have never commented but felt compelled to echo my love for this post. These are my favorite kinds of posts and are ironically the most inspiring to me as I sometimes end up feeling inadequate reading these blogs where everything seems so perfect and pretty all the time. Knowing that other people are struggling too and but still can produce and maintain all of the amazing things you have reminds me that it’s not reality that everything is perfect all the time and makes achieving success (however ones defines it) feel possible. As though there’s not this magic, have-it-all-together potion or gene that lots of bloggers seem to have and I don’t – we’re all experiencing the ups and downs of this thing called life, all the time. I think it’s courageous of you to post something like this. I immensely appreciate the human-ness and realness of this post. Thank you!

    1. Also, my sister has that same luggage and I’m always staring at it in awe when we travel together! I am sending lots of positive vibes your way hoping that you find it!!

  5. Hi Mackenzie-i am a new reader to your blog this summer (discovered you while planning my trip to Nantucket!). Your post made you so relatable as I feel I am just lost some days! I recently just got married and know how daunting of a task planning can be let alone all the other things you do. Please continue to post such stories…you never know who you are providing support to! Your fellow CT resident

  6. Hi Mackenzie!

    I’ve been a silent observer of your blog for a long time, stopping by for a quick read and loving all your cute posts but have never really felt moved to reach out until this post. I so badly wanted to give you a hug after reading this and just let you know that it will all be ok! It’s totally understandable to feel like you’re in a funk with all that’s going on in your life (running a blog, owning your own business, planning a wedding, being far from home) not to mention the larger picture of things out of your control (like the recent election) – it’s a lot to handle for anyone!
    You have nothing to be embarrassed about with what happened- all those small things make you human, not a failure! Your relative was right and offered really sound advice about taking note of all that’s going on and slowing down. There’s so much pressure to be perfect all the time in all the area’s of your life and you have total permission to NOT be perfect – it makes life so much more fun to let go a little 😉 Also- as a reader- I want you to know that you don’t owe me anything (no apologies ) for posts (personal or otherwise)- I think everything you put out there is wonderful and fun and a great way to bring a little color in my life. You’ve got a great team rooting for you and all will be ok! I hope your things eventually turn up but even if they don’t I hope the happieness from your recent trip with friends outshines the negatives. Keep your head up girl! You’ve got this 🙂

    1. Jess, I can’t thank you enough for this heartfelt comment. It makes me more happy than you know to have readers like you who quietly appreciate the everyday posts and chime in when something really hits home and I’m truly grateful for the reassurance that I’m not totally losing it! Thank you again and happy holidays! xoxo

  7. Hi Mackenzie – thank you so much for posting this coincidentally on a day I was beating myself up because I went to work and left my phone at home! If you haven’t read Emily Ley’s new book, Grace Not Perfection, yet, I definitely recommend. It has a good mix of inspiration and practical tips. I have found it to be helpful to refocus my attention on what’s important and letting other things go. Hoping it can help you, too.

    Hugs to you,

    Alexis

  8. I love these honest posts sprinkled in all of your pretty photos and travel adventures. It’s refreshing to know that I’m not alone when I misplace items, forget important dates on my calendar, or just feel overwhelmed in general. Striking a balance between all happy, all the time and a vent session can be difficult, but you made it work perfectly with this post. Wishing you a less stressed and more relaxing holiday season!

  9. hi there! i’m a longtime reader. thanks for the great post, i can completely relate. tip for your luggage–i left my wallet in a nyc taxi last year and i checked the debit charge on my bank account and googled that particular taxi company. i called and explained the situation and told them when exactly i was in the cab/where they picked me up and they were able to identify the driver and even gave me his cell phone number! i called him a few times and he let me know that a gentleman had picked it up and was going to message me on facebook. (check your spam messages on fb and linked in if you had name/contact info on luggage). anyway, i was able to meet the person who grabbed it just a couple blocks from my office and it all worked out. i hope you find it and if not, don’t beat yourself up. we’re only human! hope you have a great holiday.

    1. Hi Holly! Thanks for the advice! Thankfully I did pay by credit card so I have the medallion number and am waiting to hear back with the driver’s cell phone number. Fingers crossed! Thank you for reading and happy holidays! xoxo

  10. I really appreciate this post! It’s written from the heart and truly shows that not everything is as perfect as it looks. We all need to be reminded of that from time to time. I’m also planning a wedding and love reading your wedding updates! One thing I have learned is don’t stress over the little things. I know your wedding will be beyond picture perfect, but remember, years from now your guests won’t remember the welcome bags, the groomsman’s pocket squares, or other little details, but they will remember how much fun they had 🙂

  11. Mackenzie ,
    I have been reading your blog for many years (off and on). I am so sorry you have been having a tough time lately. I think that several things cause this forgetfulness….Stress, lack of sleep, and sometimes food choices. Honestly if me or one of my sons eat a lot of gluten we have horrible brain fog and forgetfulness. You seem to eat really healthy but just wanted to let you know. Also there are some vitamins that help the brain (ginkgo and one we like is a liquid called added attention–you must shake the bottle well, refrigerate and take after eating but it works wonders). As far as being in a funk, I counsel people for a living and I find that reaching for gratitude, looking outward and up instead of downward and in is so helpful. It is hard to do but make a list of 3-5 things everyday that you are grateful for. When we train our brain to focus on the positive, we see more of it. Also, When I help others or volunteer, I often come out of a funk. I have moved a lot and it is hard. Sometimes, the hard years have to happen so we can appreciate the JOY of the good years. Thinking of you.

    1. Hi Kim! Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment. I know very little about the world of vitamins and supplements so I’m excited to look up the ones you recommended. I love the idea of journaling the things I’m grateful for every day. Thank you again for weighing in and best wishes for the new year!

  12. Heart you so much for writing this. Seriously, THANK YOU. We ALL have phases like the one you described, and it oddly never stops being helpful to be reminded that other people experience them too. P.S. I think your fam’s read of the situation is 100%.

  13. Oh gosh, this is so refreshing to read. It’s hard to remember that the shiny, fresh, put-together internet is just as much of a hot mess as the rest of us. Thank you you for sharing so honestly! Get yourself an early holiday gift….Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequest. It’s amaze-balls. (Just don’t leave it in the back of a cab!) 😉

  14. I’ve loved reading your blog since I made my first purchase years ago from your online boutique, but this post may be one of my favorite, because I can so relate. I lost my favorite bracelet, a gift from my husband, in the airport last year. He replaced it with an upgraded version for Christmas and I lost that one this year, yep, in an airport — likely taking jackets on and off and being distracted/thinking about my next move. At the end of the day, it’s just material things, but it’s exactly as you say. I’m doing too much at once, too busy and I beat myself up about it endlessly. Be kind to yourself and know you are doing an amazing job balancing a lot! I think about your story of how you started your online boutique all.the.time. as I am growing my new calligraphy business. Thanks for being such an authentic inspiration! 2017 is going to be even more amazing for you! xo

    1. Oh, Jenny, I am so sorry! It’s the worst feeling and yet great to know I’m not the only one who’s made mistakes like this. Congratulations on your new business and best wishes for 2017! xoxo

  15. HI Mackenzie, Thank you for sharing! I have never commented before, but I am a long time reader. Your post reminded me to slow down this holiday season and think about what recharges and lifts me up 🙂 I am praying for the safe return of your luggage! An unrelated side note, I went to Nantucket for the first time last summer and used many of your recommendations! What an amazing place. Have a restful last few weeks of 2016, and cheers to new beginnings in January!

    1. Hi Molly! Thanks for reading and chiming in! Crossing my fingers the luggage will turn up but it’s been a good lesson for me either way. I’m SO happy to hear you enjoyed Nantucket — I think we could all use a vacation right about now! xoxo

  16. You are doing amazing things. Marriage is a once in a lifetime. I wish you the gift of slowing down and savoring the moments – even the not so great ones…those tend to be the ones where you will find the growth and the lessons. You are so brave to share. And you remain one of my favorite young tastemakers – I hope you are able to take pride in your accomplishments. Warm hugs for the holidays!

  17. Oh my gosh, mackenzie, I feel exactly the same way. Lately, I have been so unmotivated, uninspired, and not performing to my usual level. This is the most inactive I’ve been in my entire life, and I have so much anxiety about the future. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I hope you will soon find your groove again, just as I hope to find mine!

  18. This is such a well-written post. Whether it’s forgetfullness, not getting enough done in a day, or not going above and beyond, everyone makes mistakes and doesn’t give 110% 100% of the time. This is a great reminder to give yourself a break…no matter what you’re dealing with! Thank you!

  19. You are so strong and so brave–thank you for sharing with such honesty. When I was getting married, I felt like I was losing my mind. My usual type-A, organized self temporarily lost my laptop (which is basically an extension of my body) due to stress–I’d left it at my parents house without realizing. Hang in there–you’ve got a lot on your mind!

  20. This was a really amazing, and relatable, post. I’ve been feeling really down since the election, too, and it’s so cold and dark here in CT, which isn’t helping. It helps to know that I’m not alone in my funk.

  21. I just wanted to share that I appreciate and relate to this post and you are definitely not alone! So many people I know are beyond ready for 2016 to be over for so many reasons, myself included. I would agree that the election seemed to just be the last bit of bad news a lot of us needed to chalk it up to a not so great year. Between losing people I loved, newly discovered and scary reproductive issues, stressful family situations and having to be the rock for practically everyone else in my life, it sometimes feels like it’s hard to manage taking care of myself, as silly as it sounds. I’ve made a personal vow to myself to try to take better care next year – building in more workouts, taking some “me” time with the least amount of guilt, and knowing when to tell those closest to you when you just need to focus on you for the time being. While it will be difficult, I’m thinking the end results will be worth it or, as you like to put it, that the juice will be worth the squeeze! Here’s to 2017 🙂

    1. I’m sorry it’s been such a tough year for you and hope you’re able to get the “me time” you deserve this coming year. I know I’m better equipped to show up for my family and friends when I’m also taking good care of myself, and sometimes that means squeezing in a workout when I least feel like it or quieting the negative voice in my own head. I’m with you — here’s to a new year! xoxo

  22. You made my day‼️ Your life looks so perfect, glad to see that you have struggles just like the rest of us….
    Thank you for sharing……Kim

  23. Gah, I hate to say I love this post considering it’s laced with not so great things/feelings, but I do because I can relate so much right now. I was just telling my best friend this morning how scatterbrained I feel and how my productivity is suffering. I see my list of things to do and can’t seem to quiet my mind enough to focus on one task at hand and just get it done. The election (and the conversations following it) rattled me more than I could have ever imagined they would. Last month was hard, this one will be better.

    I could go on and on about everything else I relate to here, but I’ll spare you. I really hope you’re able to track down your luggage! I know what it feels like to lose something special from someone you love. I beat myself up over a Louis Vuitton coin purse from my Nana for years.

    I appreciate this post more than you know 🙂

    1. Hi Jess! I’m so glad it resonated with you, even if it means we’ve both had a less-than-awesome couple months. Feeling scatterbrained and unproductive is just the worst and you are so not alone. I think I need to put “last month was hard, this one will be better” post-its all over the house and office haha. Thank you so much for commenting!

  24. Thank you for sharing! I can definitely relate – my husband and I (both east coasters) moved to Houston, TX about three months ago not knowing a single person and making new friends is hard and lonely. I left behind a job I loved and while I found a new one that I like, I still really miss my old one. I’ve also had to play the role of supportive partner while my husband has gone through his fair share of unlucky situations professionally and it is hard! Especially when the internet can make it seem like everyone else’s lives are happy go lucky and perfect… Hang in there!

    1. Hi Laura! Oh man, I totally hear you. Have we emailed before? I have had a few New Englanders email me about moves to Texas and your story sounds familiar. Anyway I so relate to the feeling of moving for your partner’s job, only for that job to be less than ideal and having to start back at square one. I hope that your new job goes from “like” to “love” soon or that you find something that excites you as much as your previous role did. Thanks for chiming in today and best wishes for the new year. xoxo

  25. Hi Mackenzie. I never comment but was so moved by your words today. I get that the suitcase is only a (symbolic) thing but you’re still grieving it–not to mention the rest of a messed-up year. Thank you so much for your honesty, especially about the election and your concerns for your sister. I have the same ones for my brother. Wishing you all the best.

  26. While this is awful, and happens to a lot of us, its also just luggage and can be replaced. I think you need to put down some roots in your new home town, it seems you spend a LOT of time in the place you used to live and I really wonder why you left? While yes you are planning a wedding, there is a lot that can be taken care of via video chats and other online resources. Perhaps spending more time at home in the new place you have chosen would ground you and make life less chaotic? just some thoughts.

    1. Hi Angela,

      Thanks for reading. While I appreciate you weighing in, your comment comes across not so much curious as it does judgmental. I don’t believe spending less time with my family is the right solution for me, and I’m grateful to have a job that allows me to work from anywhere. Will and I have great friends in Dallas (in fact two of my bridesmaids are people I’ve met since moving here) and spend a lot of time with his family. We also own a home here, have a great workout routine for the first time in years, and have joined a dance studio in preparation for our wedding, so it’s hard for me to agree that we haven’t spent time or put down roots here. This year has been pretty strenuous in terms of travel as we’ve had nine friends get married all over the country, but we’re doing the best we can and trying to make time for all the people we care about.

      Best,
      Mackenzie

  27. I’ve read your blog for years and don’t feel like it has been impersonal at all!! It’s not easy to pour your heart out to total strangers on the internet – but you do! – and you do it with grace and sincerity! Don’t beat yourself up — you have tons going on and so much on your plate. Hopefully the (awful) lost luggage situation is the final reminder to slow down a little bit 🙂 I have totally been there and was recently in a similar rut with everything going wrong and it feels like you are just holding on to your sanity by a thread – but just know that it always will get better and the hard days will slowly diminish! A massage or glass of wine can help too 🙂

    I always read your posts and love your content so keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let anything (or especially comments about your great blog) get you down!
    — Taylor
    The Sarcastic Blonde

  28. Mackenzie, thank you so much for sharing all of this with us! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through such an overwhelming time– 2016 has been rough on a lot of people, myself included, but your perspective of acknowledging the uncertainty while knowing to pay gratitude to what you do have– it’s what will get you through.

    I completely agree with that conversation with your family that this kind of stuff (sudden scatter-brained forgetfulness) is usually a sign of taking too much on. Try to carve out a little self-care time for yourself, to literally do whatever you want. Whether it be doing nothing on the couch, or letting yourself roam around a new neighborhood, just some serious YOU time.

    Much love!

  29. This path month, my house was egged, items were stolen from a shopbop package and fedex delivered my new camera to the wrong house. I was sooo upset and more like WTF is happening these things never happen to me!!! I usually always trust the system to a certain extent and felt like it was crashing down on me! I think its in the air and its a definite phase!

  30. Amen, lady. You’re a precious being and remind me to keep my switch on. Thanks for making space and giving permission for others to look inwardly and probe at what’s not working. That sort of work can feel wayward, ungraceful, and lonely, when actually it’s brave, necessary, and connects us all as we work to show up every day for what matters. You’re not alone in it. Tally ho! Onward!

    All my love!

  31. I’ve been reading your blog for about 4 years now and totally appreciate your honesty! Just wanted to say that I completely relate to how you’re feeling! So many of my friends and family members are doing amazing things right now and seem to be finding their “niche” in their careers. Meanwhile I’m very feeling very stuck in my current job and have been struggling to find a new position in the city. It’s so so difficult not to get upset and frustrated and compare their successes to my lack of recent success. I graduated from college 2 years ago and for some reason have been very nostalgic about that lately, which isn’t helping! However, lately I’ve been trying to do something for me everyday, whether it’s calling my grandmother just to chat, reaching out to a friend just to see how their day is going/make plans so I have something to look forward to, finding time to read for fun, or even treating myself to a starbucks gingerbread latte haha. It helps me a little bit to know that this is only temporary and that things will pick up soon!

    Also, I feel your pain about your luggage, that’s my worst fear when I travel! Hope it turns up soon! xo

    1. Hi Rowena! Oh man, I totally relate to that comparison game, especially right out of college when many of my friends were going down well-trodden paths in finance and consulting and I was kind of paving my own way. I’ve definitely made a lot of missteps along the way but each dead-end job or terrible boss helped push me onto whatever came next. Hang in there and keep taking care of yourself — your comment was a good reminder for me to do the same! xoxo

  32. Whenever I find myself forgetting little (or sometimes big) things, its a sign to me that I have taken on too much and need to delegate right away. I find myself switch into autopilot and my brain can’t form any lasting memory, I’ve had days where if you asked me what I did all day I would not be able to answer! It’s like the memory just isn’t there. This year has been a tough one for everybody and I am so looking forward to 2017 arriving. I’ve planned a vacay early in the year where I will be clearing my head and not working on anything; no job, no blog, no side business, nothing. I need a break because while I am trying to do everything at once, nothing is really getting done. Don’t be so tough on yourself, we have all been there. xx, Rox-Anne Celebratingthislife.ca

    1. Rox-Anne, this was so nice to hear! I’m glad I’m not the only one whose memory depletes when life gets stressful. Love that you planned a little trip for early in the year — I may just have to follow suit! Enjoy your break and best wishes for 2017. Thank you so much for reading! xoxo

  33. I’m sure you’ve tried this already, but just in case you haven’t: if you paid for the cab on a credit card, the charge may list the cab’s medallion number, which can help 311 or the police locate the driver.

    1. Yes, one of the only times I’ve been happy I never carry cash! Unfortunately the cab is privately owned and the company doesn’t have a public phone number so it’s been a little tougher to track him down. Fingers crossed!

  34. This was such a great post! This time last year, I was in the midst of wedding planning and was going through a similar funk, both at work and in my personal life. It’s a time where all your favorite people are constantly offering their support, but it was hard for me to take them up on it, and it made the planning feel a little lonely!
    But everything turned out amazing, as I’m sure it will for you. I know you have said you’re traveling for Christmas, but I hope you are able to slow down and find your inner peace 🙂 You’ll be back to normal in no time, I hope! xo

    1. Hi Margaret,

      Thank you so much for sharing your story! I totally hear you on the wedding planning funk, especially being far away from my family and where we’re actually getting married! Glad to hear everything worked out for you as I’m sure it will for us! Will work on taking a breather this holiday season and hope you’re able to do the same.

      xoxo
      Mackenzie

  35. i was one of those commenters (in the most empathetic way possible!) – as a longtime reader, I could tell something was off and missed your usual lighthearted, dynamic posts that varied from day to day. Please give yourself permission to disconnect from the blog for a few weeks over the holidays and reset… we understand! Sending good vibes your way 🙂

    1. Hi Erica,

      Thanks for following up here. I sincerely appreciate your concern, as hard as it can be to hear your own self-doubt echoed by somebody else! Your comment and others were necessary encouragement to face my fears and write this post. I think we all need to hit the reset button from time to time so I really appreciate your kind words and look forward to lots of positive vibes in 2017!

      xoxo
      Mackenzie

  36. I think every time we go through a major life change it makes our entire lives shift a bit. You moved to a new part of the country and got engaged. I was a mess when I had my first (and second) child, questioning things about my future and job and obviously forgetting everything (luckily I could blame baby brain and lack of sleep!).

    I think slowing down and stepping away from things help a lot. I got a lot of clarity and focus when I stopped my blog, which sounds like a small thing since it wasn’t part of my job or business but I didn’t realize how time consuming and mentally exhausting it was. Taking that time is so important!

    1. Hi Kellie,

      Thank you so much for making me feel less alone! I always find the new year is a great time to decide which habits, hobbies, etc. you want to keep in your life and which ones you’re ready to leave behind. Wishing you a happy December and an even better 2017!

      xoxo
      Mackenzie

  37. Mackenzie – So many of us feel similar uncertainty and fear about the election results. Thanks for sharing this personal post. Fingers crossed your suitcase turns up – I know I would feel awful if the same thing happened to me!

    1. Hi Leah! Thank you for chiming in and letting me know I’m not alone. I hesitate to share anything political on my blog but now I regret ignoring such an important subject — lesson learned for 2020! xoxo

  38. sending you hugs, mackenzie. i’ve been reading for a long time, and i always appreciate these more personal posts. just because you write a sunshine-y blog doesn’t mean you have to BE a ray of sunshine all the time! remember that. people appreciate the real life element! you’re not alone in that post-election funk (i have gay parents and worry for them), nor in your wish to start 2017 fresh–it’s been a rough couple of months in the world.

    here’s hoping you can take a few deep breaths and enjoy the holidays. on to better things, my dear.

  39. I am so sorry for your lost suitcase. Fingers crossed it will show up! Love you sharing on the blog. 2017 will be a great year for you!

  40. Mackenzie, I love this post! I have been following your blog for years and I think you do a great job of mixing in a little personal content with your shopping, style, travel, and design posts. Obviously you don’t want to divulge every personal detail about your life on the internet, but it is so good to read relatable, real life content every once in a while! I have been going through the most difficult time in my life thus far, and it is so refreshing to be reminded that no one’s life is perfect, despite how it may be portrayed on the internet. My thoughts and prayers go out to you as you work to get out of this funk! 🙂

    xoxo

    Jessie

    1. Hi Jessie,

      I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time right now. Something my mom said to me this weekend that I’ve been repeating to myself since that it’s always darkest before dawn. Hopefully we are both on the brink of something amazing! I hope you can spend some quality time with your loved ones in the next few weeks and relish in a fresh start and new year!

      xoxo
      Mackenzie

  41. Thank you for being authentic! I agree with your family that slowing down will help. You have accomplished a great deal and are an inspiration. We all want the good things to get here faster – but then we miss the small good things that happen while we’re waiting! Yours is the first blog I ever started reading and still one of my favorites. Thank you for writing! Class ’95

    1. Hi Helen! Totally agree with you that wanting to fast forward to better days means we’re missing all the lovely little things that happen every day. This holiday season I’ll be trying to notice and appreciate more of them! Thank you so much for chiming in and ‘Ray Bucknell! xoxo

  42. I’m so sorry that you are going through all of this. Having so much uncertainty is extremely difficult and would put anyone in a funk. Small things I’m usually good at, like remembering my work ID or keys, tend to go to shit when I”m in a situation like yours.

    Supporting a partner through a job search and change is difficult. The fear you feel for your sister is gut wrenching and something I share, too. The fear is always there, even when it’s not the topic being talked about on the news. I feel for you and your family.

    The only thing that helps me when I feel the way you do is to remember life happens in seasons. My grandmother is 89. She’s told me some years of your life just stink. But it makes the sweet years even better. A bad year is only one year of your life. Your love for Will and your sister will always be there. Your business is a result of your creativity and drive, things you will always have. I wish you the best and hope things turn around for you soon!

    1. Kathleen, I can’t thank you enough for this comment. It’s definitely helpful for me to step back and look at the bigger picture — that although not every year is going to be happier than the last, we tend to arc toward bigger and better things over the course of a lifetime. My Grandy is also 89 (though she tells all her friends she’s 87, ha!) and your comment reminded me to give her a call — grandmothers always have your back! 🙂

  43. Your honesty and openness is much appreciated, Mackenzie! We’re all human! As for forgetfulness (I am a chronic loser-of-things, myself), check out Tile! My boyfriend travels to and from Australia (from Maryland) for work and thank goodness for Tile! It’s a little square you can put in or on anything (as a keychain or just toss it in your suitcase) and with bluetooth and GPS, you can check the app on your phone and see EXACTLY where the tile is at any time. So helpful for missed flights, quick connections, and lost luggage! 🙂

  44. Mackenzie! Thanks for sharing! Life is not perpetually beautiful and inspiring, so I’ve always wondered how you daily bloggers do it. It must be tough, and to also strike that balance with “keeping it real” but in a public way sounds nearly impossible to me. As someone who considers oneself experienced in personal ruts (haha), I wanted to share a couple links. I love this “It Will be Sunny One Day” letter from Stephen Frye and have recently discovered this Oatmeal comic which hits on some solid points re: how we define happiness in our culture.

    A big thing for me is to try to cut the shame/guilt around my feelings. If I feel like a failure I only feel worse when I feel guilty about feeling like a failure (e.g. I’m so spoiled. I have so much going for me and I should be grateful for my job and my husband and so many people would kill to trade places with me and What’s wrong with me, why do I feel this way?) Basically, I don’t find the shame/guilt spiral in any way value-add, and have been working on cutting it out of my mind altogether and accepting my feelings without beating myself up for them.

    Sorry for the novel, just wanted to say, hang in there! It will be sunny one day.

    1. Hi Joyce! Thank you so much for weighing in today. I’m excited to check out the links you shared. Guilt is a huge issue for me — as if it’s not enough to feel down, I get so mad at myself for being sad that it just perpetuates the cycle! Definitely something I need to work on. Love that you used the term “value-add” — you sound like Will and/or a Bucknell management major. 😉 ‘Ray Bucknell! xoxo