LOSING LUGGAGE AND GAINING PERSPECTIVE

This past weekend I flew home to Connecticut to meet up with four of my best friends and watch them try on bridesmaids’ dresses for our wedding. I had seen a dress I loved online and was surprised to find that a bridal shop in my hometown was a flagship location for that designer. It’s like it was meant to be! The dress is everything I’d hoped it would be and looks truly fantastic on everyone. You may have caught the sneak peek on Instagram, but the great news is that our wedding photographer Cameron flew in to shoot the experience for a post on Style Me Pretty! I can’t wait to share it with you this spring and of course I’m even more excited to see my favorite girls in their dresses on our wedding day come September.

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While it was a fun-filled morning and a nice excuse to see my family before Christmas rolls around, I’d be lying if I said the whole weekend went off without a hitch. On Friday night when I landed at the airport, I called a friend from the back of a taxi and forty-five minutes later walked into Grand Central to catch a train to Darien… without my suitcase, which I’d left in the trunk of the cab. Seriously, who does that?!

I ran outside to the taxi stand at the train station, hoping the driver had realized and stopped there, but no such luck. So I called 311, filed a claim, and spent half of the weekend calling various police precincts around the city where cab drivers can drop off lost property. My luggage hasn’t turned up yet and I’ve been beating myself up pretty hard since the suitcase was a gift Will gave me on our second Christmas together.

The embarrassing thing is that I’ve made a LOT of easily avoidable mistakes like this recently. A couple months ago, Will’s mom drove us all the way to the airport before I realized I’d left my wallet (and photo ID) in our foyer. A few weeks ago, Will and I returned home from Sea Island to find that I’d left our garage door wide open the entire weekend. And just last weekend, I left my wallet on a Virgin America flight and was on the verge of tears until someone miraculously found it on the plane and delivered it to the baggage claim.

I swear I had gone years without forgetting anything so obvious and yet lately it’s more a question of what I’ve forgotten than whether I’ve forgotten anything. After calling the NYPD for maybe the tenth time on Saturday (by the way, they have been so kind and eager to help) and hearing yet again that my suitcase had not turned up, I finally broke down, so mad at myself and my recent onslaught of forgetfulness that it overshadowed virtually all the fun we’d had earlier in the day.

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{Until we meet again…}

I don’t usually share embarrassing stories like this one on my blog, but lately I’ve gotten a few comments from readers saying that my blog content doesn’t feel very personal lately and I want you to know that I hear where you’re coming from, 150%. Despite knowing I have virtually endless reasons to be happy, I’ve just been in a total funk. I’ve written about my struggle with homesickness since we moved to Dallas, but there’s also so much I haven’t wanted to delve into: difficulty finding an employee who’s a good fit for my online boutique, Will going through another job search, fear over how the election results might affect my gay sister, feeling uncertain about the future and and uninspired about how I’m running my business. In short, I’ve basically been feeling like a complete failure, and often the last thing I want to do is sit down and spill my heart out on the internet.

I know I’m unbelievably lucky to have a family and a fiancé who support me unconditionally, and I hate not showing up as my best self both for all of them and for all of you. I know I’m not alone when I say this year has brought a lot of ups and downs and thankfully Will and I have a few big changes on the horizon (though of course none of them are happening quite quickly enough for my liking!). I want you to know that I haven’t given up on my little corner of the internet and that I’m beyond excited for a fresh start in 2017. This blog is such a reflection of my life and I know you guys pick up on it when I’m feeling overwhelmed or uninspired. It’s been a while since I felt like I was totally killing it and I’m really freaking ready to get back there soon.

I don’t know how to wrap up a post about forgetfulness, homesickness, and eagerness for change with a pretty bow or a tidy resolution. I guess I just hope you’ll read it as a sincere effort to keep things real around here and do a little sharing even when life isn’t all butterflies and rainbows.

I had an enlightening conversation with my family this weekend that my sudden forgetfulness might just be a giant sign from the universe that I need to slooooow down, quit beating myself up all the time, and pay attention to the present instead of trying to race ahead to the next chapter (or the next leg of my travels, as the case has often been). So many of us get caught up in the details this time of year and forget to cut ourselves some slack every now and then. So let this post be a little reminder that a fresh start is right around the corner, whether you spend the next month going crazy over every gift, meal, and mistake — or you actually slow down, savor the present, and show yourself and the people you love a little extra kindness.

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I look forward to stepping things up around here again and as always I’m open to any constructive feedback you’re willing to share. I’m so grateful to those of you sticking around and promise I will do my very best to make it worth your while.

P.S. If you enjoy more personal posts like this one, here are a few to check out: one thing you need to stop hating yourself for, how I started my online store, how Will and I met, one of those days, how I made friends in a new city, seven lessons learned from moving across the country, moving from New York to Dallasgetting out of a funk, and saying goodbye to my childhood home.