THINGS I’M AFRAID TO TELL YOU

You may have noticed a number of bloggers participating in a little movement called “Things I’m Afraid To Tell You.” It started with this post on Makeunder My Life and expanded with this post on Creature Comforts. I sort of did a version of this here but when Meg emailed me about participating in a second wave of posts, you can bet I hopped on that bandwagon! So without further ado, some things I’m afraid to tell you…

I have no idea when I’ll be moving out. I’m lucky to live within an hour of New York and even luckier to have parents who put up with having me at home. Inventory for the boutique used to be stored in the closet off my bedroom but as I’ve added new arrivals has taken over the dining room… which means wherever I move will likely have to have an extra room to house it all… which is totally unrealistic. Unless…

My dream for the next few years is to organize an office space for fellow creatives who run their own businesses. Bri does this in Los Angeles and Erin has a similar set-up in Boston. To be able to store my inventory outside my home and to stop working when I leave the office sound pretty great right now!

Running a small business is stressful. Behind the new arrivals and pretty Instagrams, there’s a 22-year-old girl who’s trying to figure it all out as she goes. I still feel a little surge of joy every time a new sale comes in… but also a little surge of anxiety every time I have a slow sales day. But compared to what I was doing eight or ten months ago? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I take things personally. An anonymous comment, an upset email, or a tersely worded text message have all made me cry at some point or another. I wish I weren’t so sensitive but I also like to think it makes me more empathetic.

I worry often about not being “enough.” I’m not creative enough. My blog isn’t big enough. My sales aren’t strong enough. I’m constantly having to remind myself that nothing good can come of that train of thought — and this series in particular has helped me see how many of those people I compare myself to are actually feeling the same way.

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Well, there you have it! I hope I haven’t scared you off by keeping it real. And if you feel so inclined, leave a comment below sharing one thing you’re afraid to tell!

40 thoughts on “THINGS I’M AFRAID TO TELL YOU

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  1. Dear and beautiful and awesome Mackenzie! 🙂

    I hope my comment will cheer you up whenever you feel a little vulnerable 🙂

    As internet usually goes, I dont remember exactly how I turned out in your page but there I was.

    At first, I started by reading your blog and I couldnt stop reading every single post you wrote!

    Everything was so nice, well written, beautiful, just like that ad from Kate Spade (you are curious etc).

    I am about to embark on a journey of my own as an entrepreneur as well and trying to figure out how to monetize my passion and I definetely understand where you coming from.

    YET, I am just here to say that there are LOTS of people who simply love you and are here to support you (you can count on me for that too!). You are amazing and brave for sharing what you are feeling (afraid of sharing) with us and you are SO young and have done SO much! I am sure lots of ppl are so proud of you, of who you are, of who you became and how you are inspiring others to follow their dreams too!

    Keep shining this amazing light you have!

    xoxox

    PS I like to read lots of things, and lots of blogs that I love and I dont usually comment on them, but in this post, I HAD TO! See how you made me do something I never do? Thats how amazing you are!! I am here with tons of people wishing you the BEST, really 😉

  2. you are amazing. way to make it happen and take the risks. such an inspiration to entrepreneurs everywhere!

    i have an invitation for you on that front…if you’re game.

    email me: lauren@laurenfritsch.com

    and i’ll be continuing the “things I’m afraid to tell you” meme.

    happy friday!!!!

  3. Hi Mackenzie-I’ve been following your blogs in the last several months and I am hooked! Love that you put yourself out there to so many people. I agree with everyone else who thinks you are amazing! For been so young and have the passion and self motivation to be doing that things you are doing! Is okay to be afraid at times, when you do you are able to encounter beautiful experiences like you are. You will only keep growing and figuring out who you are in the process to be even better! I am inspire.

  4. Of all the posts I’ve seen floating around today, it’s yours I relate to the most! I’ve discovered life in the real world is realllyyy stressful and that maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was. As for moving out, don’t rush it! I just moved into NYC and while it’s fun, there are several nights I wish I was still home with my parents!

    -Alyssa

    http://glossymusings.com/

  5. Wow, I absolutely love these posts that have been floating around the interwebs. I totally agree with pretty much all of these! So true and so real. I, too, am super sensitive and wish that I weren’t. but I’d definitely say that it’s something you really can’t change with the flip of a switch!!

    and about the not being enough part….oh I feel you completely! Like I bet we could go to town talking about it! haha

    You’re the best Mackenzie!! And I look up to YOU in so many ways!!

    xoxo,
    brighton
    http://www.brightontheday.com

  6. As a fellow 22 year old, you are more than enough. I’m constantly impressed with everything you’re doing with the shop and the blog – it’s amazing! And my Mom actually told me last night that I was never allowed to move out now that I’ve moved back home. I look at it as making up for all the times I had better things to do than come home during college. Someday we’ll have to move out forever, so we might as well enjoy being with our families while we are!

  7. I love this post, Mackenzie, and I empathize with a lot of your fears. Thanks for sharing and keeping it real

  8. I have the same fear of not being enough. But it’s awesome to have a supportive family. Stay as determined as you are and everything will fall into place in good time.

    lisa x

  9. Mackenzie- of all the “things I’m afraid to tell you” posts, I have to say I relate most to yours. The dream of being successful enough to have your own business and support yourself completely is all I want out of life- but I’m not there yet. I admire everything that you have done by age 22- and you should be proud of yourself. I hope I have the courage as you do to fully embrace one of my business ideas someday. Until then- I will hopefully be able to learn from the path that you set! And once you start that office space-I’m in!
    -Stefanie
    http://www.thestylesafari.com

  10. Your idea of opening up a “co office space” is brilliant! What a great way for young companies to get a foot up and bounce creative ideas off each other!

    As for living with your parents, I am too! It is such a transitioning stage and you are doing something you love and will be getting your own places soon enough!

    Thank you for sharing your experience of starting your own company to all of us who are wanting to do the same!

  11. Ha! I’m working on a series for my blog titled “I’ve got insecurities”… I’ve said it once… and everyone else is saying the same thing. Are you kidding? 22?! I’m 35 and feel like I am JUST starting to figure it out… no income (just yet), but I’d rather be in this position than anywhere else myself. You are at the top of the heap, precious thing!!

  12. loved this post, Mackenzie. I can relate in many ways – I am sensitive as well. I think many creatives are – but that’s nothing to apologize for. You are also much nicer than most people and I admire your discipline and courage. Keep up the great work, you’re doing great, esp. for someone who is only 22! Impressive. xo

  13. I am a 14 year old girl and let me tell you, you are such a great inspiration!! My parents always tell me that I should be a doctor or a lawyer but I really love fashion and would dream of doing what you do! Thanks for being such a great role model:-)

    xoxo

  14. Mackenzie, I wish I had half your ambition when I was your age. Heck, I wish I had it now. Do not fear, there is no rush to be anything but what you are. I know you will continue to do wonderful things. I can only hope to be a small part of it. Can’t wait to live nearby – oh, the fun we all are going to have!! xo

  15. Well, here it goes: I’m afraid I’ll never do the things I’ve always wanted for my life.

    Now, when are the #lovemyjacks party photos going up!

  16. Mackenzie:

    You are truly gifted and ambitious. Keep doing what you are doing. It’s not like your family is a bunch of aliens. Consider this thought – what would it be like on a slow sales day and the rent is due?! You have a built in support staff – enjoy it while you have it.

    …”If you fall, fall forward.”

  17. Love, Love Love this series. Ummm.. Hello— you are 22, have a fantastic blog and your own business. I am so envious of you that you followed your passion right out of school.

    I am (ahem) 13 years older than you and wish I had the balls to to that at 22. Now I have a family to support so it’s not exactly like I can kiss my paychecks goodbye. You are amazing! Seize the day– oh, the places you’ll go!

  18. As someone who’s right around the same age as you..I envy your bravery. It’s great to push yourself to be better, just as long as you take the time out to reward yourself as well. And rewards yourself you should do…you deserve it 🙂

  19. What a great post– I think we all have fears of not being enough in so many aspects of our life. It never goes away!
    Here’s something from me– I know my business could really thrive if I really applied myself and stuck to a strick discipline but I am not sure I really honestly want to work.all.the.time. But then I get frustrated when i don;t sell as much as I should. Chasing my tail….

  20. I love that you kept it real! It allows us readers to get to know you! I am afraid of some of the same things that you are especially since I am trying to start up a little shop of my own, but it is on etsy!

  21. I agree with Lindsay K!
    I totally relate to your post. I have the same worries about not being creative enough. I guess when you’re an artist you often question everything you do and that’s how you can become even more creative. It’s a process. You are awesome & inspiring 🙂

  22. I think a lot of bloggers and small business owners can totally relate to everything you said in this post! And I lived with my parents for 2 years after college and survived! It is worth it in the end! I wish I was as bold and brave at 29 as you are at 22! You’ve accomplished so much!

  23. You are always enough, and I hope you can always remember that. I’m afraid that I’ve sold out by leaving teaching and working in an office.

  24. mackenzie! you’re doing so many amazing things. at 22!! you impress me, that’s for sure.

    and i hear you on the sensitive bit – it definitely works for us in a lot of ways. i think sensitive people generally have the best taste… as we’re sensitive to our surroundings.

  25. I think you’re doing great! 22 is so young! I lived at home off and on until I was 26 and I have plenty of friends that are the same!

    Also I just started a blog and I have to say I am mystified by how all you ladies do it. I am technology challenged and so impressed by your blog!

  26. Oh my gosh, this series is incredible. Mackenzie, honestly, none of these things matter. I lived at home when I was 26 because I got laid off. You’re right out of school and doing SO well. I’m so proud of you! xo